Ah, Edo State. The land of the brave, the beautiful—and the bickering politicians.
As the September 21 gubernatorial election approaches, it’s starting to feel like we’re less in a democracy and more in the middle of a messy family reunion, where everyone’s fighting over who gets to sit at the head of the table.
It’s no secret that we’ve got 17 candidates vying for the governorship, but let’s be honest: only three of them are really in the running. Think of the rest as the background dancers in a political music video. Sure, they’re there, but nobody’s paying attention.
So, who’s leading this delightful train wreck?
Let’s take a look at our three musketeers.
Asue Ighodalo (PDP): The Scholar Who Talks Fancy
First up, we’ve got Asue Ighodalo, the People’s Democratic Party’s shining star. This man could sell water to a fish with that fancy lawyer talk of his. He’s a pedigree politician—educated, polished, and, unfortunately, still stuck with the political baggage of Godwin Obaseki. Yes, Obaseki. That same man whose name gets whispered around like Voldemort’s in certain parts of Edo State.
Ighodalo’s greatest strength? He’s from Esan land. That’s right, folks, his people are rallying behind him like they’re preparing for a village square dance. Unfortunately, his biggest weakness is also his Esan identity. Because, you see, Esan folks are split on whether to hand over power to someone from their backyard or not. Talk about indecision.
And oh, let’s not forget the Obaseki curse. Ighodalo’s campaign has become something of a “Choose Your Own Adventure” book. Either you vote for him and get more of Obaseki, or you vote against him to exorcise the ghost of Obaseki’s administration from Edo’s government house.
Olumide Akpata (Labour Party): The Lawyer Who Could
Then, we’ve got Olumide Akpata, former president of the Nigerian Bar Association. He’s got brains, and he’s got the people—or at least 58% of the voter base in his home zone. But you know how these things go. Having the numbers doesn’t always mean you’ll get the votes. Ask any Nigerian politician; they’ve got plenty of creative ways to lose votes, even when they have the most people on their side.
Akpata’s biggest problem? He’s new to this political game. While the other candidates are out there playing chess, Akpata’s still figuring out how the pieces move. And his running mate? Yeah, no one knows much about the guy. Which could be a good thing, considering how most running mates end up being the political equivalent of a third wheel. But in this case, it’s like being the invisible third wheel.
Also, let’s talk about Labour Party for a second. Great for sweeping up seats in the last election, but there’s something about a rookie in politics that makes voters nervous. It’s like watching someone try to ride a bicycle for the first time—you want them to succeed, but you’re fully expecting a crash.
Monday Okpebholo (APC): The Gentleman Senator
And then, ladies and gentlemen, there’s Monday Okpebholo. He’s got the backing of the All Progressives Congress and—wait for it—federal might. Ah yes, federal might, that age-old Nigerian political cheat code. When in doubt, use federal might. And yet, there’s something… missing.
Okpebholo seems to be playing the part of the elder statesman who doesn’t really want to get his hands dirty. This man dodges debates like it’s his job. In fact, it probably is. His biggest strength? That whole “ruling party at the centre” thing. His biggest weakness? He talks about policy like he’s explaining it to kindergarteners. And we all know Edo State voters expect their politicians to at least sound smart while promising the impossible.
Also, both Okpebholo and Ighodalo are from Edo Central, which means they’ll likely split the vote, leaving Akpata with a smirk on his face and a glimmer of hope in his eyes. How poetic.
Alas!
It’s anybody’s guess how this chaotic, carnival-esque election will turn out. But one thing is for sure: Edo’s political future is like a Nollywood plot twist—you can’t predict it, but you know it’ll be dramatic. Grab your popcorn, because the show’s about to begin.